Friday, January 15, 2010

I no speak Engrish

Life Complications ~ Part 2
Language Complications ~ Part 7

I mean...other than the sentence "I no speak English", I can't speak any other English...


And no I'm not trying to over-title this post...it simply seems to fall in both of these topics...

2 Sides of the battle, plus some interesting languages, when we get back to you after the break!
*Theme Music*

In our little corner of the universe, we are surrounded by multi-culturism. Perhaps you do no live next to a human of another ethnic background. Maybe everyone is from the same culture in your office or classroom, but I bet FIVE jars of oxygen (and these are BIG jars!) that you know of other ethnic groups and that you can speak at least one other word in another language.

Thus, in these circumstances, it is not unlikely that you may come across the chance of having a conversation, however short, with someone who converses using a language that you are either not familiar with, or a language that you may be comfortable with, but they obviously are not.

Here I shall present you all with 2 sides of an argument that has been going on in the back of my head for the last couple of seconds. Which side would you agree to more?

Serené the Conserver-est
(Language Complications Part 7)
Don't you think its weird when people come up to you and ask you if you speak the language or not IN said language? I mean...thats a waste of oxygen. You can only get ONE valid human answer that includes an actual useful answer...
Allow me to illustrate:

For this excercise, please use any of the following 4 responses when appropriate:
1. Yes. Can I help you in any way?
2. Umm...sorry, I don't understand what you're asking.
3. Uhh...awkward...
4. *walks away*
5. What the @%#*$


Me: 懂中国话吗? <--I get this a LOT...surprisingly
      Do you understand Chinese?

Me: Parlez-vous français?
      Do you speak french?

Me: 日本語ですか?
          Do you speak Japanese? (Actually, its "Japanese, right?")

Me: Hablas español?
          Do you speak spanish?

Me: تتكلم باللغة
         Do you speak Arabic?

Me: 한국어로 말하는가
          Speak Korean?

Me: Do you speak English?
          Do you speak English?

Another jar of oxygen, empited for no particular reason.


Professor Serené
(Life Complications Part 2)

Now students, listen up! If you would rather choose to go about wasting our precious supply of oxygen and killing a year off your lifespan, at least do SOMETHING with it. I suggest replacing Response Choice number 5 with any of the following when appropriate...actually, keep choice number 5. Use this to replace choice number 2 instead.

You: 不懂中文.我能帮你妈?
            I don't understand Chinese. Can I help you?

You: Je ne parle pas français. Puis-je t'aider?
            I don't speak french. Can I help?

You: 日本は.ヘルプが必要?
            No Japanese. Need help?

You: No español. ¿Necesita ayuda?
            No Spanish. Do you need help?

You: لا بالل تحتاج دليل
            No Arabic. Need a guide?

You: 한국어로 말할 수없습니다. 도움이 필요하십니까?
            Can't speak Korean. Need help?

You: I don't speak English. Help needed?
            I don't speak English. Help needed?

The only thing more important than voicing a question is properly responding to one, right? Even if you don't understand the question, whats more important is to have the questioner understand your response!

I am truly sorry if any of the languages used above was incorrect. I seriously only know the first 2 examples, and barely, at that. If there are any mistakes, please feel free to correct me!
What did you say? The English example was wrong? I'm sorry, but I speak no English! You need help?

Today's Surroundings: Murky Waters
Today's Object: Orange peels
Today's Feelings: Red