Monday, October 18, 2010

I'm Smarter Than You. No Really, I Am!

I can count by two's and tie my shoes,
I can also type, and I have teeth.
(Ha, Franklin! Your turtleness is no match for my evolutionary brain!)

Language Complications ~ Part 11
Life Complications ~ Part 14
(should I change my labels? These 2 seem to always appear together...)

Humans have always been wonderful with names. At one point, there were so many names that everyone had a different one (although that might also have been because back then, there were only 3 farms within 500km of where you lived...) and names are continuously popping up. Simply stating, we humans are amazingly, magically, awesomely wonderful at the invention of a name.

Well, it's slightly more complicated than that...
This beautiful gift did not stop at naming people, oh no sire, it did not. The most original of names were given to species. You know those super-long names that all living things apparently have? Well then, now you know who to blame when your biology teacher has you memorize 3 pages of them.
DATE: Octoberology 18ology 2010logy
NAME: Serenology Linology

Quite a mouthful isn't it? The one Golden Rule of the class? Don't read too fast when the teacher asks you to read from the textbook/handout. Read too fast, and you may break a tongue.

One of the handouts we received a few days ago focused on Anthropology (the study of ancient civilizations and their relations with the current society...ology) and we learned about the evolution of mankind. The handout was overflowing with originality!
Why, you ask?

Well, here's what happened:
4.4 million years ago, we were called Ardipithecus Ramidus. We walked on 2 feet
4.2 million years ago, we were the Australopithecus Anamesis.
3.9 million years ago, we became the Australopithecus Africanus. We could HOLD things!
3 million years ago, we were the Australopithecus Africanus. The brain increased in size.
Here I shall pause for a moment. Apparently in 1974, a very complete skeleton was found of an Australopithecus Africanus in Ethiopia. This skeleton was named "Lucy". Now, naming it Lucie would have been somewhat more creative, and naming it Serené would have been even better...but hey, not everyone can be THIS awesome.
Anyways, going back:
2.5 million years ago, we were called the Homo Habilis. Tools and languages were used.
1.8 million years ago, were were the Homo Erectus. We started cooking! Yum!
0.5 million years ago, we named ourselves the Homo Sapiens (that's you!). After that, we've not really changed too much, so this version of us stayed for quite a while.
Pretty entertaining eh? I mean, if we didn't have to memorize all of these for a quiz, I think we can all agree that we are QUITE good with naming. All these beautifully original (and ridiculously long) names for US! I think we will all agree that we're quite special indeed.

Scientists believe, that starting from 5000 years ago, the Homo Sapiens of the past and the us of the present underwent one other change. A change big enough to be given a new name. Apparently, the newer us became SMARTER than the older us.
So obviously, us, being smarter, are going to give ourselves one of those fashionably new and snazzy names, right?

You ready for our new (and most current) name?
The humans of the 21st century,
Have evolved to become smarter,
And have gone from being the Homo Sapien,
To the Homo Sapien Sapien!

...wait, what?
I kid you not. Maybe increased smartness (logically) results in decreased creativity?
Seriously though. We're smarter? Why Homo Sapiens Sapiens? Why not...I donno... Butterflies?

But the good news? If your English Teacher ever asks you to write a letter to the future, you no longer have the dilemma of trying to figure out WHO to send that letter to:

Dear Mr/Ms Homo Sapien Sapien Sapien,
This letter is from a Homo Sapien Sapien of the 21st century. Please do not laugh at my horrible writing and uneducated-sounding small words, since obviously you guys will be smarter than us. 
By the way, have you dug up my bones yet? If I can ask for such a selfish wish, please display my bones (or what's left of it) at the Louvre. I've always wanted to be famous! Also please remember to dust me every year or so. Mom's always been telling me how important it is to keep myself clean. Remember to wash behind my ear(hole)s!
Thank you very much!

Today's Surroundings: Blackboard Walls
Today's Object: A Feather Pen
Today's Feelings: Red-ish Green

PS: Mr.SteveJobs, if you ever pass by my blog, do consider naming your next awesome creation the iAPS. Pretty please? And if you do, please have it out where I live on my birthday. I'll be very happy if you can do that!