Sunday, December 6, 2009

#%&@$!? Its a Potuck?!?!?!??

Deviant Complications ~ Part 1


...Pardon my French...
*No actual Swearing was used in the making of this post*
So today I was walking through the kitchen (just because) and by chance I happened to look at the kitchen counter (just because) and I happened to pass by my Grandfather's tray of boiled(steamed?) unpeeled potatoes (just because) and I continued on my way...

EHHH!!! What was THAT?!?!?!
[Retraces steps to look at the mountain of boiled potatoes]

Can you believe it? Right before my very eyes, perched on the very tippy-top of the mountain of proteins was one, SINGLE potato, like no other I've ever seen before...

Why is it so important, you ask?
Because this potato would have sufficed in giving Joseph Strorm (The Chrysalids) a very, VERY serious heart attack.

"Accused is the Deviant!"
"The Deviant is the Image of the Devil!"

Yes, there it was, standing before me, the dreaded, cursed, hated...
POTUCK!

Also more usually known as a potato that looks like a duck.
*No pictures! (I SERIOUSLY need a camera...)*

And so, I did what every self-respecting teenager would do when faced with such dire circumstances. (and NO I did not freak out like Mr. Strorm would have OR preformed an offering to the GODS to ask for forgiveness at 6 in the morning)

I showed it to everyone in my family (smart eh?)
What I found very interesting was the utter difference everyone in my family reacted to this deviant potato. I shall record their responses below so you can all see for yourselves:

Selen√©'s Potuck Museum Display:

Potuck + Mom
Me: Look Mom! Its a DUCK-ie!
Mom: Go away, I'm busy
Me: But...But...its a DUCK!
Mom: [ignores]
Me: ...


---



Potuck + Grandpa
Me: Look what I found! A Duck!
Grandpa: ...What? *had trouble hearing me*
Me: A Duck!
Grandpa: WHAT? I Can't Hear You!
Me: ITS a DUCK!
Grandpa: WHAT?? SPEAK LOUDER!
Me: I-T-S  A  D-U-C-K!
Grandpa: A Luck? How do you get A luck?
Me: A DUCK!!!!!!! A POTATO DUCK!!!!!!
Mom: BE QUIET! I'm Busy!
Grandpa: [looks up] OHH! Thanks! [takes the Potuck and prepares to eat it]
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOES!!


---



Potuck(injured) + Dad
Me: Dad! Dad! Look at this!
Dad: Hmm?
Me: Its a [Drumroll] DUCK! [Tada!]
Dad: ...its a potato
Me: No! I mean...Yes! It is a potato, but it looks like a duck!
Dad: ...you need glasses...its obvously a potato...
Me: No! Look at this! See the head? And the body? And the beak-like thing? It looks like a duck doesn't it?
Dad: No...its a potato.......are you feeling okay?
Me: [REJECTED!]


---

Potuck(injured) + Baby Toddler Brother
Me: Ducky is coming!
Potuck: QUACK!
Brother: Duckie! [drools]
Me: Isn't it cute?
Potuck: QUACK!!! QUACK QUACK!!
Me: You wanna pet it?
Brother: Ducky! [Smacks Potuck on the head]
Potuck: [Dies]
Me: Nooooooooooes!!!!





[Sigh...] Who knew advertising was so hard?

We are gathered here today to remember the short, but nevertheless happy, life of one particular Potuck. The young fellow spent his whole lifetime trying to increase the happiness of others, and eventually died while doing what it loved most: Quacking to little kids [Pedoduck?]
Lest we Forget

On a happier note, we had Toddler-Mashed Potuck for dinner?!

Today's Surroundings: Valley at Dusk
Today's Object: Potatoes...
Today's Feelings: Dark Grey