Friday, December 25, 2009

This Can Can Open Cans...or Can it?

Life Complications ~ Part 1

Just like language, life has also dished out quite a few random and really useless things for us to use. An huge example of that is the Electric Can opener...
Although I personally understand how useful this object may be to those who are in need of help with can opening (arthritis peoples?), I simply can not comprehend why it has been invented...I mean...stone-age peoples have arthritis did dinosaurs...but they had no problems opening cans did they?

Serené's "Can Open Cans!" Campaign

Can Opener + Mom
Me: Drumroll Please! [drumroll] TA DA!
Mom: *sigh* you're so annoying...
Me: But...But!
Mom: *sigh* must be wonderful to be young...
Me: Uhh...pyon!?!? (makes weird pose)
Mom: *sigh*
Me: Umm...*pokes*
Mom: *Ignores*
Can Opener: PSST! What happened to my entrance?
Me: pfft....

Can Opener + Dad
Me: Jan! (accented Ta-Da?)
Dad: *Looks up* Oh my goodness!
Can Opener: *glows with holy music*
Dad: Its a whatchamacallit thingamabobie! (it was actually this long technical term in Chinese, so bear with me..)
Me: Uhh...yeah...sure..?
Dad: its the most wonderful creation of mankind! I must open it up to see the wonderful technology inside! <--Did I mention my dad was a techno-geek?
Dad: *glint in eye*
Me: *silent panic*
Can Opener: *Shakes with Fear*
Dad: *Advances with screwdriver in hand*
Can Opener: *Writes Will*
Me: Uhh...Is THAT a Peanut Butter Jellyfish in the tree? (Courtesy of Winnie the Pooh)
Dad: Huh? *looks behind him*

Can Opener + Grandpa
Me: Loooookie at this!
Can Opener: *Puffs out chest*
Grandpa: A chair? Thanks! *Prepares to sit on it*
Can Opener: No Sitting Allowed!
Grandpa: A Can Opener?
Me: know..opens cans?
Grandpa:...Whats a can? Does it need opening?
Can Opener: *Chokes*
Me: *Dies*

Can Opener + Brother
Can Opener: Coochi Coochi Coo!
Brother: SHHHH!
Me: Look at what I have!!
Me: Huh?
Brother: *Points to the Television*
[Ice Age 3 (Dawn of the Dinosaurs)]
Mommy Dino: RAWRS~!
Me: *sits down to watch*
Can Opener: *Clears throat* What about me?
Me + Brother: SHHHHHHH!

. . .

I'll leave the opinion-making to you.

Today's Surroundings: Reflective skies
Today's Objects: Scratched surfaces
Today's Feelings: Dark Red