Friday, December 11, 2009

Realistic Busters!

Life has been bad the past few days...snow, snow, snow, snow, and did I mention snow? Even though its only been the 3rd day of snowy weather, all of these white flakes are all getting on my nerves. Dandruff, snow, fungus, snow, salt, snow, Styrofoam, snow...and to think my favorite pattern/shape is a snowflake....

Thus, with cold weather I decided to check out an very important theory. In case you don't know this one fact (and I'm quite sure you don't unless you happen to be one person in particular who happens to know me personally...*cough*SC*cough*), but I wear glasses [surprise!]. I am the perfect example why not EVERYONE with glasses are smart...

Anyways, back on the main point. Glasses are a pain, or rather, they are a pair of pain (cause they always come in pairs...? Left and right lens...?). Especially in the cold weather. Now, if you personally wear glasses, you will definitely believe this when I say it, and if you don't, then either take my word for it or steal the glasses from the fellow human nearest you and try them on.

...I'm really getting off-topic today...

Back AGAIN to my main point. Glasses tend to FOG when the wearer enters a building. This apparently is due to the sudden difference in temperature in the winter (from cold to warm) although I must say I've seen it happen in the summer too...
As weird as this is, the fogging is actually   ...   quite annoying... especially when you go momentarily blind every time you enter a roofed structure. This is especially dangerous if your house happens to be like mine and requires the use of stairs the minute you enter, or if you have just entered a particularly busy area of a school or mall during rush hour on a particularly busy day (Christmas shopping anyone?). Countless time I've tripped on either people or stairs, and the latter is always more annoying...

Thus, instead of focusing on fog-free lenses, big scientific people decide to try THIS. The "fool-proof free version of unfoggy-ing lenses", which requires the user to look like an idiot, risking life and limb (and body!) to walk BACKWARDS when entering doorways. Classic, no?

I finally decided to personally try it one day, and here is what happened:
Serené's Backwards tnemirepxE (Experiment)
Step 1. Arrive at destination (house door)
Step 2. Ring doorbell repeatedly until you are let in (this involves waking up a baby toddler young brother and a deaf weird ancient grandpa)
Step 3. Maneuver oneself until one is standing with their back to the open door (all the while letting cold air into the house)
*Caution: Be careful of your backpack's murderous intentions to the person behind you*
Step 5. Wave at neighbour staring at you from across the street. Remember to smile
Step 6. Backtrack until you are safely inside the door.
Step 7. Quickly step to the side to avoid over-squishing the grandpa who you just ran down during your backward trip.
Step 8. Close the door (remember to smile&wave at any and all curious kiddies outside)
Step 9. Breathe some more

This is what ACTUALLY happened:
Doorbell ringing took a while. I sorta froze while waiting for step 2 to finish...
The minute I turned around, I could only see the snow coming down from the cursed sky in buckets of buckets. Failed step 4 due to panic from too much snow and skipped step 5 because, technically, I couldn't SEE anyone through the snow.
The little hallway proved itself to be too narrow to operate step 7.
Skipped step 9 trying to work out step 8. (Once again, can't see anyone through my foggy glasses)...

EHHH! Foggy glasses?!?!?!?!?!
Yes, ladies and gentlemens, there was %#$@& FOG on my @!&%$ Glasses!
*No Swearing was utilised in the making of this post*
Apparently walking in a house BACKWARDS caused fog to form on the OPPOSITE side of my glasses. Instead of fog on the outside layer, the fog had formed on the inside layer of my lens (the side closest to my eyes). This predicament only caused the fog to stay on my glasses longer than normal.

And THIS, boys and girls, is why you should NOT listen to offical adult-y peoples...

Today's Surroundings: USO (Unidentified Sparkly Objects)
Today's Object: Confetti
Today's Feelings: Faint Yellow