Tuesday, January 26, 2010

If You were Me (You Wish!)

Language Complications ~ Part 8

If I were you, I would breathe...
But since I'm NOT you, please ignore that suggestion.

Yet another wonderfully useless saying. And apparently something that many people find very useful...
Allow me to explain:

Serené's Pre-French Exam Day
Mom: I'll study if I were you...
Me: Too bad you're not me! *annoys her*
Mom: I would seriously stop playing around and start studying if I were you.
Me: I'll study later, since I'm not you.

Serené's Post-French Exam Day
Me: *Completely failed French Exam*
Mom: I TOLD you!
Me: Its all your fault that you're not me! Why aren't you me?? If you were me I wouldn't be in this mess...
Mom: ...what..?
 
Ah well, what can I say? French is my second worst subject and my most hated subject (no offence to those who differ in views and positions), so I guess I saw that coming...
 
Back to the subject though. This is probably one of those sentences that are always used, but to no effect. Its has a negative effect. If you use this phrase with any suggestion, chances are your listener will NOT take it.
 
And anyways. You, being ME? Yeah right! Dream on! (just kidding!)
 
Refrain from wasting any more oxygen jars on this matter! Of course, unless you want a good "I Told You So!" moment later on.
In other words: Use at Own Risk!
 
We recommend being closer to free health care (or a lot of money, whichever one is easier to obtain) before utilising this.
 
Today's Surroundings: Windy Coast
Today's Object: iPod
Today's  Feelings: Pink
 
PS: Yes I did fail the French Midterm Exam. Guessed everything (@#$% Verbs...)
PPS: Lets just hope my guessing is awesome...