Wednesday, December 29, 2010

And THAT is Why You Should NOT Floss...

Life Complications ~ Part 16

Yes, that's right, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, dogs and cats, (and you too, in case you don't fall under any of these categories). It seems that the timeless tradition of flossing when you brush your teeth may actually be BAD for you!
Well, maybe not for you, to be exact, but it most definitely is Bad!

According to this piece of News here, Neanderthals (background check: Homo Neanderthalensis, sub-branch of the Homo Sapiens (NOT the Homo Sapiens, Sapiens, if you still remember) were characterized by their robust build, mighty muscles, short limbs, and apparently had larger brains than us! Sadly, they are believed to have died out and did not make any contributions to the human genes pool - except, maybe, for Albert Einstein's and Newton's.)

Once again, then:
According to this piece of News here, Neanderthals (now you know about them!) loved sweet foods and bean/nut products.
How do we know this? Because the Neanderthals never flossed!

Don't be fooled by the smile.
Flossing is actually bad for you!
It seems that trace evidence of such foods have been found in between the teeth of many skeletal Neanderthal individuals. After careful analyzing, scientists now believe that Neanderthals consumed a wide variety of foods (dates and barley, among other examples shown. Cooked/boiled barley too!). Scientists are now adding this extra diet find to previous knowledge of plants and game animals (from clues of bones and fossils found around Neanderthal remains) to reconstruct their eating patterns.

Now, here's where we come in.
As you all know (unless you were living under n a Earth-sized rock) in the year 2012, on December 21st, the world (as we know it) will magically come to an end. Here's the problem. In another few million years, when our neighboring aliens arrive, it is important for them to know about us. Once they've established what we looked like, how many heads we had, and how many eyes we had on each head, they would, naturally, want to know about what we like to eat. And once they figure out that we don't eat aliens, they would perhaps be curious to find out what we DO consume, and perhaps also reconstruct our foods.

How do they plan to do that?
By finding clues, of course!

1. There will be no more humans.
2. There will be no more recipe books -or- they can't read our language.
3. There will be no more potatoes.
4. Providing that humans have died, there will be no more chickens.
5. Since there will be no more chickens or potatoes, there will be no more McDonalds.

5. We floss, so sadly, there will also be no more food residue between our teeth.

Ahh, a lost civilization is a crude, sad thing!

So please, for me, for you, for our civilization, for our world, please do not floss on the 21st! And remember to eat lots of good food by then too. We might not have as big a brain as the aliens that will eventually find us, but we will definitely outshine them in the food department! 
Or at least prove to them that we don't just consume mint-tasting toothpaste!

Today's Surroundings: xyz
Today's Object: Red Pen
Today's Feelings: White

PS: And yes, I was kidding (or was I?)